1 am and of course I'm feeling melancholic.
Not that I have any reason to. I guess I'm so used to "what's next?" in my life by now. That never ending anticipation or hope, gets you high but when you fall nothing can brace you for the shattering heart.
Okay, SPM. What's next? Degree.
Next? A job. A well paying one.
I was honestly happy working at Cupcakes, if I didn't feel like "oh i'm destined for so much more than this!" since I was a top student enrolled in a top school for one of the hardest programs. <-- my expectations for myself.
Next? Settling down. Now, I have never been happier in my life. This guy is more than what I had hoped for. Everytime I'm with him, I wish time would freeze so I can be in the moment forever.
But, I have to stress over what's next.
Kids.
Amirite or amirite?
I mean.. i didnt want kids that quick.. I also really, honestly spending time with my husband alone. I really have no idea why I want kids.
But I want kids.
I can't explain it.. I want to feel happy looking at my friends getting pregnant and have babies, but sometimes I'm not. I know the clear answer is to bersyukur and be happy with what you already have. And I am! My life is perfect, in my opinion.
But what's next?
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