I've tried a bunch of other social media but I suppose writing suits me best. I really like being able to just rant quietly.
It's almost 2025. Wow. I still remember wrestling my heart about wanting Hadi like... 12 years ago? I tried to convince myself he was not that into me. But I suppose he was. Now we have 2 kids lol. My worries evolved from passing exams with good grades so I didnt have to pay my convertible loan, then to whether or not I will land a job.. then to making enough money.. now i have too much worries to write down, but they mainly revolve around raising 2 kids, and whether I still want to do what I'm doing.
I mean, come on. I think every working woman dreams of either
1) Keeping a farm (chicken and chillis, anyone?)
2) Running a cafe
3) Starting a bakery
For me it's the first one. But in this world run on money, I dont know how people afford this. We've visited a relative who's running a farm. They raised 4 children on farming income. But (is "but" the correct word here? Is one sentence on the other side of the other?) their life is modest. Their house is a rented single storey semi-D in a rubber plantation. The wall had a long, wide-ish (0.5cm?) crack. The STEM woman in me was worrying if it will fall on them in their sleep. I don't think they go to 5-star hotels for vacations. They surely don't eat much KyoChon or McD. Not that either was in the vicinity anyway.
Then this evening I was looking at my credit card bill.
- RM 1k ish hotel stay + A'Famosa trip
- Some sort of property tax that arrear because i didnt notice them
- My kid's speech therapies and a recent consultation with specialist.
They racked up to about RM 6k+
My (non-existent) chili farm can't pay for this, at least not in the first few months I suppose. Idk man.. is it my lifestyle??? Is it because I live in a city? Maybe I should sabbatical for a bit and stay in kampung to test if I can live a nice quiet humble life.
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